Thursday, May 13, 2010

The Best and Worst Idea Ever

Emergency Vehicle Marquee. Never wonder "What happened?" again. Seriously, you know you want this. A large, live-streaming marquee on every police car, ambulance, fire truck...

I had this idea awhile back and, although grand, it managed to slip my mind. After the second police visit to a neighbors' house in one month (different houses) my idea returned. Close your eyes and imagine this...... shit. Don't close your eyes or you can't read it. Imagine your eyes are closed. Or read and then close your eyes and repeat it silently in your head.

Driving down the highway. Three car pileup with traffic backed up half a mile. Then you notice in bright red lights (no, red is overused), in bright purple(???) lights a marquee on top of the ambulance headed away from the scene. "Dumbass sneezed and swerved into oncoming traffic. All motorists expected to live."


Peering out the window old lady gossip style (I totally do this. A lot.) Two police cars park across the street and officers walk as pair to the front door. Neighbor answers. A discussion complete with arm gestures. And a marquee. "Man suspected of smuggling immigrants across the border." We're in Corpus.

Maybe if the poor soul in the ambulance doesn't have a chance they can just put a sad face. No specifics.
I think this could decrease rubbernecking around the globe. It would also help my husband. I am that girl (also known as that 5 year old) who asks "Chris, what happened?" "Chris, why are the police there?" "Chris, why did that old man get tasered?". I know full well that he has no more information than me. I also frequently complain when small children ask these questions of me.

I'm just saying, I think this could go over well.


  1. holy shit patent that bad boy asap! i'm tired of parking my car in traffic in order to figure out what the heck is going on. and so it everybody else.

  2. OMG, I was JUST thinking the other day how much I longed for one on my OWN car. So I could text a quick message to the jackass behind me riding my ass that the closer he gets, the slower I will go. Or tell the girl that gives me a "look" as she speeds past me because I cut her off to "f-off bitch. Those sunglasses make your face look even more fat than it really is." Awful things like that that people only become brave enough to think/say inside the safety of their own vehicle!!